


no words needed (when you kiss me like that)

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Self-Indulgent, Swearing, almost nonexistent, bad writing ahead im sorry, but not too much, i mention nohyuck like once, jaemren, like a lot, pls excuse my typos uwu, renmin, unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23263138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Will this shut you up?” Renjun points at his lips, subconsciously licking his own.“What—”
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 96





	no words needed (when you kiss me like that)

**Author's Note:**

> hi!
> 
> this has been sitting in my drafts for three weeks, so i decided to post it on renjun's bday (kst)! flood their instagram and twitter with love, please!
> 
> this is mostly self-indulgent because i miss jaemren so much :'')). i was planning to write like 2k, idk how i got to 6k but i still hope you enjoy reading! (some scenes are so sloppy and awkward, though, so sorry in advance! <3)
> 
> and once again, happy birthday, renjun!

“Can we go home, please?” Jaemin asks for the second time that night. They’re sitting opposite to each other, faces void of any enthusiasm (no wonder, when the clock’s reading 9 p.m.). His cheek is placed on his right outstretched arm, watching Renjun work on his essay that’s due the next day (if he remembers well). 

Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to think that having a date while simultaneously working on his project in a library would work. Especially if it were with someone like Jaemin who’s relentless no matter what; he doesn’t give up nor does he back out once he sets his plans determinately — even if there was the load of stress induced by school duties in the picture. Frankly, he’s giving Renjun more stress than needed. Which is not welcomed. _At all_. 

“Jaems,” Renjun sighs — very audibly — and rubs his eyes tiredly. He rests his chin on his left hand and looks at the said person, twirling with his pen in the other, “I already told you, you can go home first.” 

Jaemin frowns, his outstretched arm fiddling with Renjun’s pencil case’s zip. “But you promised a date.” Renjun doesn’t have to look to know that Jaemin is pouting. He redirects his gaze at the pile of papers on the side and contemplates leaving it in the library and jumping straight into Jaemin’s embrace and cuddle the night away. 

Yeah, if only life was that easy. 

Renjun, all defeated, slides a hand down his face, the frustration unmistakable, “Give me ten more minutes.” Jaemin just hums, his eyes fluttering closed. He sighs in contentment as his upper body wiggles on the table, finding a comfortable position for a short -but well deserved- nap. Renjun lets a small smile make its way onto his lips and he decides to test his theory. 

“Jaemin?” He hums. 

“You know that you’re very ugly?” Hum. _You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on._

“And that you’re very lucky to be dating someone like me?” Hum. _Should be you saying that to me, though_. 

“You know that I love you, right?” Hum. Hum. Hum. _I love you, too._

Without any more inhibitions, and distractions (that’s discussable), Renjun fights the tiredness in his body and forces it to work. It’s his fault, after all. He should’ve started sooner, he should’ve focused more, he should’ve paid more attention in classes so that he didn’t have to research this much. But that’s nearly impossible when Jaemin is constantly on his mind – what he’s doing, is he eating well?, does he drink just enough of water?, does he think about him as much as Renjun does? 

Well, he’s in too deep now. 

♡ 

Ten minutes turn out to be two hours. 

His essay is messy, written-out words mingling with the ink that’d spilled from the broken pen, resulting in colouring his right hand in black. He should’ve listened to Jaemin when he said it’d be more convenient if he just started typing in the Word app. He would’ve saved loads of time. At that time, he had no idea where to start from and how to compose it, so that it’d make sense. 

He could’ve given it a shot, though, but would that be Huang Renjun if he wasn’t so stubborn? 

The essay’s thankfully finished, the only problem lies in typing all of four A4s into his MacBook that’s situated on his study table. He’ll deal with that later. 

To top all of that, there’s a breathing and a living human being in front of him, light snores coming out of his nose and drool forming at the corner of his lips. How does he still look so breathtakingly beautiful in such state? Renjun will never understand. Nor will he want to know, he’s lucky enough to be breathing in his proximity. 

He looks around himself. _Empty._

_Well,_ he exhales, his hand already reaching for the backpack lying on the ground and starts stuffing it with all his belongings. The librarian looks up from her seat at the front and scowls at him for making such noises at night. Renjun awkwardly smiles and bows in apology. Her eyebrows are furrowed and the glasses are perched on the tip of her nose, threatening to fall off. She beckons him over and he looks around, only to facepalm himself in the process of turning back to the previous position. 

Once Renjun’s in front of her, she suddenly speaks out, “There’s no one else but you and that sleeping boy of yours, do you think I was beckoning _him_ over?” Her voice is sharp and so, _so_ unfriendly. Her name tag reads ‘Mrs. Kang’ and Renjun glowers. He knows he should be respectful to elders but why should he treat this _lady_ with respect if she’s not doing the same? 

Renjun does really need to work on his pettiness, this was getting really bad. 

“What do you want?” He spits. Unwillingly so, or at least, he didn’t know he said that until he just did. Renjun then, when the realization hit him, covers his mouth with both of his hands and starts to apologize like crazy. 

Renjun might be petty and she might’ve deserved that, but he has manners. 

“Calm down, boy.” She puts the book she was holding aside and sits on the chair, it creaking under her. “Dang, this chair again. This place does need some renovation.” 

Renjun subconsciously rolls his eyes over her theatricality but then he remembers the old shelves that were on the verge of falling under all the books’ weight the other day. He composes himself and realizes that he’s been actually doing this – spending his precious time hating-slash-somehow-talking-slash-judging the person in front of him instead of taking Jaemin home and getting some sleep. He cuts straight to the chase, this time, his voice is pitched and all sweet, faking the interest, “Did you need anything? I’m kind of in a rush.” 

Mrs. Kang seems to think for a bit before she ducks down and opens the drawer. Renjun widens his eyes in horror. What if something happened to her? “Oh my gosh, are you okay?” 

Then she’s back up, her hair all over the place, as she hands him an envelope, “Stop worrying so much, young man. I’m just fine.” He hears her mumble something along the lines ‘I can see why he’s so stressed now.’ Renjun pays no heed to it. 

“Now, hush, take your lover boy home and take care of him. He looks pretty tired,” She jerks her head towards the table where Jaemin lies, peacefully sleeping, though, the neck doesn’t look well placed — it shouldn’t be angled like that, for that matter. 

Renjun thanks for the envelope and shoves it into the back pocket of his blue washed-out jeans, then he gets back to his boyfriend. His fringe is matted to his forehead and his hands are cold to the touch. Renjun brushes the extra strands of his hair away and kisses the crease on his forehead. He puts the thin-fabric jacket on and slings the backpack over his shoulder. Although he’s glad to see him sleeping this peacefully, he can’t let him stay in a 24/7 library even if there was no other option. Renjun shakes with Jaemin’s shoulder as gingerly as he can. 

Jaemin grunts. 

Renjun looks at the outstretched left arm before him. He takes a hold of his hand and encourages him to wake up. 

“Baby,” he says, stroking the back of Jaemin’s hand, giving it some kind of comfort. Renjun spots the coat placed on the other side of him and goes to retrieve it with his hand still interlaced with Jaemin’s. To say it was difficult is understandable. He lets go of his hand and proceeds to dress him into the confines of his black coat. Renjun takes the coat’s arm and slides it over Jaemin’s left arm, then he tries to do the same with the right one. It’s more difficult thanks to the added weight of Jaemin’s head placed on it. Once he carefully sets it on the table, he gets to see the big pink-ish mark forming on his right cheek. 

_Oh, I’m so sorry. The things you do for me…, I truly don’t deserve you._

It seems never-ending at the start, but after some tries, he gets it done. 

However, that doesn’t mean Jaemin would budge from his place. “Let’s go home. C’mon.” Renjun pokes him into the cheek continuously to annoy the hell out of him. He might have been gentle, but if that didn’t guarantee getting to their shared apartment as soon as possible, there was no other way left than to be Donghyuck-level-annoying. What that meant? Renjun didn’t know either.

Jaemin’s eyes snap open, all red from the lack of quality sleep (how could he achieve that in a library?). He blinks more times than countable before jumping up from his seat to hug Renjun. 

Renjun stays stiff in his arms, not really expecting this action. “What’s this for?” He asks, reciprocating the hug by wrapping his arms around Jaemin’s torso nonetheless. He rests his head on his chest and he starts to count the beats against his temple. He loses the number as soon as Jaemin speaks, his voice reverberating through his chest to Renjun’s head. “I think we should go.” 

“Oh? What makes you say that? I thought we were clad in a coat for a library fashion show?” Renjun asks innocently, voice laced with sarcasm and amusement. He doesn’t even try hiding the big shit-eating grin on his face. 

“Who even uses— whatever, the librarian’s throwing some ugly faces at us. I really don’t want to die today, Jun.” 

Renjun untangles his intertwined hands around Jaemin’s torso and finds support in his hands being rested on each of Jaemin’s shoulder, “You look so tired, baby.” 

Jaemin rolls his eyes. “Oh, do I?” Renjun nods as he slides his left hand down Jaemin’s arm and stops at his wrist. He looks down at their hands, such a little distance left to have these interlocked. He doesn’t hesitate entwining both of their fingers together, “You know, our hands look good like this.” Renjun raises their linked hands to show Jaemin, as if he didn’t already know. 

It’s a _fact_. 

“Okay, she’s fuming.” 

Renjun rolls his eyes but as the nice and well-mannered boy that he is, he says, “Have a nice night, Mrs. Kang.” He turns around to wave at her but ends up seeing the smile upside down. Renjun has his eyes in slits seconds after being nice as he watches her hands fold in a fist. 

_Spoke too soon._

“Junnie, we should really go.” Jaemin tugs on Renjun’s jacket sleeve incessantly, silently insisting on leaving the tensioned room. Renjun scoffs, his nose scrunching for a good second before he makes a beeline to the front door of the old building with Jaemin, hand-in-hand. It’s exactly when he opens the door does he hear the almost inaudible, “You, too!” 

♡ 

Renjun plops down on the bed with his backpack still on. 

Jaemin toes his shoes off, joining his boyfriend on the bed. They both face the white plain ceiling and let out a breath they’d been holding in. They’re still donned in their jackets, starting to feel uncomfortable. Jaemin gets up first, only to be stopped by a delicate hand circled around his wrist. He looks down at the culprit and spots a pouting Renjun. “What’s wrong, buddy?” 

Renjun purses his lips, his eyes cast upwards, leaving Jaemin’s gaze, “I can’t believe you buddy-zoned me.” 

Jaemin snickers, erupting into a fit of laughter afterwards. Renjun won’t lie, he finds it very endearing to see him being this amused but not when the cause is himself. “Stop laughing, you idiot.” Despite his short arms, he still manages to slap Jaemin’s shoulder, resulting in him nearly falling off the bed. 

“What the hell…” Jaemin widens his eyes and then has the audacity to hit Renjun back half-assedly. Renjun seems unfazed and even laughs at the poor attempt at trying to get back at him for what he’s done. 

Jaemin’s so much more bulky and toned than he is. His body is covered in muscles, the result of hitting the gym every day but the weekends (that’s ‘cuddly time’). Renjun’s glad Jaemin didn’t use the full Na Jaemin Strength on him, otherwise he’d be flying to the other side of their bedroom. 

Renjun proceeds to wiggle out of his backpack straps and throws it to the ground. Harshly so. 

“It didn’t deserve that.” Jaemin mumbles from behind him. Renjun can’t help but roll his eyes, though, the corners of his lips quirking up are as clear as sheen. He turns around in a haste manner and catches himself in the confines of Jaemin’s arms. Instinctively, Renjun leans into the touch and finds home on his shoulder. They stay like that for a while, Jaemin hugging Renjun while they both stay on the bed, sitting cross-legged. They don’t need words for them to know that this is comfortable and peaceful and that it’d be such a _shame_ if they detached from each other and lived on with their lives. 

It’s after some heartbeats do they separate, looking into each other’s eyes with so much love ingrained in their irises. Renjun closes his eyes for a minute, relishing in the feeling of his forehead pressed against Jaemin’s shoulder. He’s _not_ dreaming, right? 

It might’ve been a good while since they started dating but he still finds it unbelievable to have someone like Jaemin by his side. Jaemin tilts Renjun’s chin up to look at him, his eyes telling him more than words ever could. _Don’t overthink too much_. 

Jaemin’s known for a while; Renjun’s constant self-doubting his place in their relationship, the distance put between them out of fear of not being able to be in Jaemin’s proximity ever again, the constant avoiding in the hallways back in high school. There had been way too many things, and Jaemin’s glad to had taken action and talked it out with Renjun. 

Renjun doubts himself so much. After all the years spent together people would think he’d get used to it – he’d get used to the feeling of being loved, to the feeling of someone being _just_ there for him. And not just some people, Jaemin thought so, too. 

Relationships work on the fundamentals of trust and mutuality. They both reciprocate each other’s love, they love being in each other’s presence but how come does Renjun always feel as if there could be someone else, better than him for Jaemin? 

_“You don’t get to say what’s good and what’s not good for me.” Jaemin had said back then. His face was full of dried tears, no mention the unshed tears that sat in the corner of his eyes. Renjun, in front of him, looked about just the same. His hair was a mess, dark circles under his eyes were visible and his whole appearance screamed ‘just went through a break-up, but aside from that, I’m completely fine!’._

_Renjun’d tried. He tried not to think about the possibility of Jaemin leaving him for someone better. Someone smarter, someone more good-looking, someone that fitted him better than Renjun could ever do. Those thoughts flooded his mind and with the ceaseless thinking on daily basis, it became a habit._

_And those were really hard to get rid of. Especially for someone like Renjun._

_The first year went well but once college kicked in, that’s when they started to spend less and less time with each other. And Renjun couldn’t help but feel like at some times Jaemin was avoiding him. For what? He never really knew. Thoughts of him possibly meeting up with someone else filled the remaining blank spaces in his mind and he cried himself to sleep once he made sure Jaemin was dead asleep._

Renjun casts his eyes downwards at their socked feet, feeling full of shame,“Believe me when I say that I do, I just—” 

“No,” Jaemin stops him, “you need to listen to me. 

“You keep thinking, how you’re not enough, how I’m probably meeting up with someone else, how I’m probably wittingly not at our apartment because I don’t want to be near you. 

“Do you know how much that hurts? You keep pushing me away. You— you keep saying that stuff when you clearly don’t know how I feel about it so why do you keep assuming? Jun,” Renjun closes his eyes, a single tear rolling down his beautiful pink-dusted cheek, he tries not to erupt in cries as he listens to Jaemin. 

“You’re more than enough. If you hadn’t been— there’s no such thing. You need to realize, you need to put this into your stupid but pretty head of yours that you’re worth more than you make yourself out to be. Stop that. It’s not hurting only you but me as well. 

“You’re worth every second I spend with you. College has been a big pain in the ass but as long as you’re by my side, I’ll gladly look back at these times with a big smile. You’re worth everything, baby.” And that’s when Renjun uncontrollably starts sobbing, the tears flowing down his cheeks as though it were a waterfall. He hides his face with both of his palms, crying helplessly into them. 

Jaemin takes both of his palms off his face and looks at his teary eyes through his as equal blurry vision. “Please, I need you to understand that, I need you to—” 

Renjun takes no time in kissing the person he’s missed so much. No matter how many days they’ve spent together, or how distant they’ve once been, the person before him is the one that made him realize and experience what true love is. He knew deep down that Jaemin wouldn’t leave him like that. Not when he loves as much as Renjun loves him. Their love is strong, their love is fierce, their love is full of ups and downs, full of insecurities and doubts but most importantly, it’s _real_. 

It’s not just some dumb play in a theatre. 

Renjun kisses harder, putting more pressure on Jaemin’s lips. They start to feel suffocated so they take their extra layer of clothing off, lips still intact. The temperature in the room changes drastically; where they once felt like in the middle of the Arctic Ocean, becomes the hottest place 180-turn later. The air is full of passion, lust and the feeling of longing — something they both crave and yearn for. 

Jaemin has his hand on Renjun’s nape, playing with his hair as he licks into his mouth, the taste of their salty tears undeniably recognizable. The other one is set on his waist and he lightly squeezes it, resulting in Renjun opening his mouth out of sudden shock. 

Their tongues dance together in sync, exploring the other’s mouth from time to time. They savour each other’s distinct taste, from Jaemin’s bitter coffee and biscuits to Renjun’s minty breath. Every time their teeth clash, it feels like the invisible force around them coerces them to stick together as close as possible, as if they were the same poles of magnets. It’s feverish and it makes Renjun dizzy but he doesn’t stop. He doesn’t want to. 

Oxygen. 

They need to _breathe_. 

Jaemin slowly pulls away, the string of saliva connecting their mouths is left on seen. Renjun wholly ignores the smirk Jaemin has plastered on his face. It must be because of the way he looks— lips red and plump, hair disheveled to its peak and a blush creeping up his cheeks. Yeah, must’ve been the wind. 

Renjun intertwines their hands and places his forehead against Jaemin’s, his hot breath fanning him as he speaks, “I’m so sorry.” 

“You have nothing to apologize for, Jun.” 

“No, I need to and... I want to.” He avoids Jaemin’s eyes by closing them, the memories invading the remaining space in his overloaded mind. “I want to apologize for the first time that I met you back in 9th grade… when I spilled my soup on your new shirt—” Jaemin chuckles. He remembers that very well. His white t-shirt could probably still be found in his old room back in his hometown. 

“Also for that one time I accidentally kicked you in the shin, oh and also when we played volleyball—” 

Jaemin interrupts, “How can you remember so many things?” Renjun looks up and flushes beet red. Jaemin quirks up an eyebrow in silent question, “Unless?—” His suggestion is soon followed by a, “I might have had a thing for you _even_ before we started befriending each other.”

Renjun is sure he’s never seen Jaemin smile wider than he does now, “What.” His voice doesn’t hold any malice but rather a hint of fondness. And a lot of embarrassment.

“Junnie, that is _so_ cute!” He nuzzles his head against Renjun’s neck and giggles. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Renjun unwillingly scoffs as he threads his fingers through Jaemin’s soft locks, his eyebrows scrunching in thought. “I mean... you always hung out with that guy.”

“Huh? Which guy - oh, you mean Jeno?” 

Renjun nods, “You did everything together and at some point, I thought you were dating. Hadn’t it been for Hyuck spying on you, I would’ve never known.”

“Spying on us?” Jaemin guffaws loudly, his breath growing hot every chuckle he lets out. Renjun pulls away from him, his face contorted into a pseudo-scowl. “I never asked him to do that.” 

Jaemin lets out a sound of mocked acquiescence as he plays with the strings of his ripped jeans, “A little birdie told me about it, though.” Renjun grabs a pillow next to him and groans into it, pent-up frustration and anger being released into an innocent subject. _I should’ve never told him._

They sit in a comfortable silence despite the weather outside. Raindrops hit continuously against the window in an unclear rhythm, evoking a pleasant sense of tranquility. Thunders, on the contrary, scare the hell out of them if they don’t prepare beforehand - although, it’s _always_ unpredictable (and illuminate their room in different places each time it strikes).

“Mostly!” Jaemin looks at Renjun with wide eyes at the sudden initiation of a conversation. Though, he glances at him expectantly, eyebrows arched and eyes full of curiosity. 

“I’m sorry for ghosting you all the time back in junior and senior year. That was very uncool of me.” 

Jaemin sighs but lets a smile overtake his frown, “you apologized for that, too, you dumbo.” 

“Then what have I not apologized for?” 

Jaemin strokes his chin, feigning being immersed in thoughts, even though he exactly knows what he is going to say: “For downgrading yourself.” 

Renjun’s smile fades. _What?_

“You constantly hurt yourself by thinking these thoughts. I just want you to apologize to yourself for being this harsh because you clearly do _not_ deserve that. I know it’s not easy to overcome these thoughts, 

But I just want to be here for you whenever you feel like you need a hand or a reminder that you’re more than your ugly image of yourself made up in your mind.” 

Renjun hugs him. His arms are thrown over Jaemin’s shoulders and his face is tucked in the crook of his neck, breathing his scent in. “Gosh, I love you so much. Thank you, _thank you_.” 

Jaemin sighs in relief. _Finally_ , “I _might_ just love you, too, dumbass.” 

“Shut up,” Renjun playfully hits his back. Jaemin responds with a giggle that does wonders to Renjun’s ears. Renjun decides that he doesn’t want anything else but _that_ engraved in his ears from now on. 

Renjun leaves his embrace and looks at Jaemin, their distance an arm’s length. He looks him in the eyes and Renjun tries not to overreact, but he might see stars and constellations in those dark brown eyes of his. 

The need of their lips pressed together crosses his mind. He looks up at him and finds Jaemin closer than he’d been. Renjun just needs to inch closer and close the gap, so he does that slowly, trying to irk Jaemin. 

Renjun should know by now that Jaemin’s a very patient person and that he doesn’t jump to things immediately, although it might be something he’s used to and sure of. Hence both of hands placed on each of Renjun’s elbow, encouraging him as Renjun props himself up by his hands on each of Jaemin’s biceps. 

Their gap is nonexistent once Renjun loses control over himself and plants a sweet and delicate kiss on the other’s lips. It’s _so_ sweet and innocent, relaying both of their feelings to one another. They relish in the feeling of their lips pressed together and soon, they part. “I still can’t believe you’re real.” Renjun doesn’t mean to whisper, but it just comes out like that naturally. Jaemin snorts, “Well, I am.” 

“You’re so insufferable.” 

“But you love me.” Renjun just grins at him. _I do_. 

♡ 

“Nottobethatpersonbutmybackkindofhurtsyouknow,” Renjun tries to say as he brushes his teeth, toothpaste foam fulling his mouth. Jaemin arches his eyebrows but doesn’t pay that much heed to it as he turns around to face the mirror and brushes his own pair of teeth to perfection. White and pearly. 

They both spit out the remnants at the same time. Jaemin into the sink and Renjun into the bathtub. 

“What did you say?” Jaemin asks, holding the pink toothbrush in one hand, the other one on the handle of the faucet. 

“That my back kinda hurts.” 

“Of course.” Jaemin chuckles, proceeding to rinse his toothbrush with water. “That’s cause you’re too short.” 

“What does that have to do with anything? We both arched our back!” Renjun throws back at him. Hugging – for God knows how long— cross-legged meant back pain nonetheless. It is inevitable.

Renjun touches upon their height difference topic internally. He might be short but he’s not _that_ short. The difference between them is nearly unrecognizable.

“For you, everything.” 

Renjun scrunches his face at the unpredictable cheesiness but doesn’t really want to admit that it makes his heart flutter and he feels all giggly. “How come you come up with such good comebacks?” 

“Duh, I’m Na, says a lot.” 

“Sodium? Very hot.” Renjun jokes, his toothbrush feeling heavy in his hands. As he passes by Jaemin to retrieve his cup filled with water to rinse his mouth, Jaemin decides to corner him, one hand on the sink and the another on the stand next to Renjun. “I think so, too.” 

“The fuck you tryna do?” Renjun eyes him up, the blush making its way towards his cheeks as his gaze lingers on the uncovered display of his collarbones. There’s a silver cross necklace around his neck – something so simple yet it drives Renjun crazy. He tries to ignore the butterflies in his stomach and the inappropriate feeling of marking him up because that’d _apparently_ look better. 

All disarrayed, he shakes his head to snap himself out of it and places the toothbrush into its respective place. As he outstretches his hand to get a hold of the cup, Jaemin curls his fingers around his wrist, stopping it from moving any further. He places both of their hands on his chest, specifically where his heart beats. “You feel this?” Renjun gulps. “This happens on daily basis, every time I see you, to be exact.” 

“No, Jaemin, please, stop being so cheesy.” Renjun pleads, his voice soft and silvery.

“But it’s the truth! You’re my lifeline, my reality-hitter when I dream too much. My one and only.” Jaemin beams at him. His smile is too bright and Renjun feels blinded by the beauty of his boyfriend. “You’re the moon—” 

“Will this shut you up?” Renjun points at his lips, subconsciously licking his own. 

“What—” 

Renjun wastes no time in grabbing the collar of Jaemin’s oversized t-shirt and slams their lips together. Lips and tongues molding into one as if they were missing parts of puzzle waiting to be put back together; to form a beautiful image. Jaemin drops his toothbrush into the sink to pay full attention to the person whom he calls the love of his life. “You keep initiating today, I feel honored,” Jaemin mumbles against his lips. If Renjun heard that, he doesn’t know. But what he wants to prove his love. He conveys it through their lips, words dying in them as soon as they move on their own, already having gotten to know each other. 

Actions do indeed speak volumes. 

Jaemin kisses feverishly and unrelentingly, never seeming to stop. Renjun still keeps up but is on the very edge of failing. Their bodies are so close yet they feel like it’s not enough. Jaemin prompts him to move closer to the wall and to keep Renjun in his place, he scoops him up by the back of his thighs. 

Renjun’s back is pressed against the wall (so much for saying that it hurts), and he circles his arms around Jaemin’s neck. He does the same with his legs (circling them around his torso), not once breaking the kiss. _Comes with practice._

Jaemin lets his hands rest on the small of Renjun’s back, having sneaked them under his t-shirt. The cold sensation making Renjun shiver against his lips, sending Jaemin into a frenzy. He moans into their lips, Jaemin widens his eyes upon realizing Renjun’s about to pull away not only to take a breath but to apologize for making such an obscene noise as well. He gives him and also himself a second to breathe in the fresh air before attacking his lips once again, relentlessly tugging at his bottom lip. 

Jaemin feels like dying on the spot if he doesn’t take a break from holding his lover up like that. 

He decides to relocate them to their bedroom (but not before turning off the lights, albeit it took him good five tries) where he unwillingly throws Renjun on the bed. Jaemin climbs on top of him, straddling him;legs at his hips, his elbows on both sides of Renjun’s head as he props himself up with the strength in his limbs. There’s this subtle “I’m sorry” somewhere in-between them but they pay no mind once their lips lock in a passionate kiss with lots of involvements of tongues, lip biting and teeth clashing. 

It’s the part where Renjun tugs at the hem of his tee, silently pleading for the cloth removal, does Jaemin comply and takes his t-shirt off. They part lips for a second, Jaemin immediately missing the warmth of Renjun’s on his. 

Renjun uses the short pause to inhale, his lungs have been suffocated for too long. Its capacity weakens every time they make out for too long. 

The white shirt is tossed haphazardly on the ground. 

He doesn’t register the movement right next to him as he nears the edge of his bed to fetch the t-shirt, just in case Jaemin will be cold and too lazy to get up to get it himself. 

Jaemin rests his body on the headboard of their bed and Renjun takes initiative (again) as he understands the unsaid words lingering in the air. 

Renjun climbs into Jaemin’s lap, his legs at either side of his hips. This time, it’s Jaemin who kisses first. It’s been always Renjun who initiated things but Jaemin didn’t mind nor did he have the need to be the one to do that. 

He’s eager, chasing Renjun’s lips as if he’ll run away and never come back, feeling as if this was their goodbye kiss (before the night falls upon them) – which in fact, is. Renjun lazily throws his arms around Jaemin’s neck for support and bites on his bottom lip. Seconds later, Renjun decides to play with it a little bit, putting it between his teeth and nibbling on it. Jaemin squeezes Renjun’s waist in retaliation for such act. He feels him flinch for a second before their lips are no longer on each other’s but rather Renjun’s are making way down his jaw. He plants wet kisses along his jawline to where his neck meets his shoulder where it stays for longer than necessary. Light-feathered kisses turn ultimately into a sucking and biting mess. 

Jaemin uses the situation to his advantage to ask Renjun something he’s meaning to do so, but never really got the chance to when all he wants to do — when he looks at him— is to kiss everything away. Struggles, happinesses, anything. “So, how’s your essay?” Renjun’s hair of ashy brown color tickles his jaw and Jaemin tries not to flinch. He hears him hum some incoherent words, though, he can make out the ‘fine’ among many others he doesn’t bother straining his ears for. Jaemin feels Renjun’s lips shift to his collarbones. His teeth dig painfully into the thin skin covering his clavicles and Jaemin lets out a quiet ‘ow’, to which Renjun apologizes. 

He sucks on the skin. At first, it seems innocent and it feels as if he were leaving kisses in his trail but as Jaemin starts talking about miscellaneous things he can think of to kill the time while he gets his neck marked up, the sucking gets harder and harsher. Jaemin might look like he doesn’t mind that much but inside, he’s burning up… and yelling. 

Jaemin, with Renjun in his lap, slides down the headboard to the comfort of pillows and blankets and turns them both around, now lying in bed, in each other’s embrace, sharing and exchanging body heat, under the big deep blue comforter. “You’re so sweaty.” Renjun coughs, making gestures with his hands theatrically. “And you stink.” 

“Well, I can’t stop my body from doing its work, when you make me feel this way.” Jaemin smirks, smugly slipping his hand under Renjun’s t-shirt. His hand is cold and Renjun slaps it over his piece of cloth but doesn’t bother removing it. Jaemin traces random doodles all over his back and stomach, not once removing his attention off Renjun’s pretty face. 

The lights are still on and neither of them really wants to get up and do the task of switching it off. They’re too comfortable to leave like that, even though it might take less than a minute. 

Jaemin, later on, reluctantly gets up, his arm immediately turning cold without Renjun’s warm skin on his. He gets to the other side of the room and switches the lights off, the room turning pitch black, some places illuminated by the outside lamp posts’ lights. Renjun hands him the t-shirt blindly, frantically waving with his hands around himself. Once Jaemin’s clad in his top, he jumps into the bed, feeling the other side jump up from the sudden momentum. He turns right to face Renjun and brushes the fringe out of his forehead. Thanks to the window, Renjun’s face is illuminated by the streetlights and Jaemin wonders if he’s ever seen anyone this beautiful. 

Jaemin brings Renjun closer by his wrist and his hand finds home at the curve of Renjun’s waist. “Did you get the envelope?” 

Renjun seems to falter at the question but his mind is clear as day again when it races back to the eventful ‘study-date-night’. He nods against Jaemin’s chest. 

“Did you like it?” 

“I haven’t opened it.” Renjun says as inaudibly as he can. He doesn’t like lying (especially to someone so precious to him like Jaemin), so he doesn’t. He just doesn’t want to disappoint him. 

“It’s okay,” Jaemin squeezes his thigh for reassurance before taking off to his waist again, “As long as you’ll open it, I’m good. Though, don’t take too long. But it’s just an encouraging message, so nothing exciting…” 

“You make it sound as if it were, though.” Renjun looks up, Jaemin’s gaze never leaving his. 

“That’s a surprise.” 

“You’ve made it hard for me.” Renjun sighs loudly, “I thought it was just a plain envelope but now that you mention surprises within its content…” 

“Don’t you just love when I leave you hanging?” Jaemin levels his gaze to match Renjun’s and kisses the tip of his nose. Renjun, all defeated, deflates and lets out a breathy chuckle. Jaemin laughs along with him, if people were to see them laughing and giggling like this, they’d think they were lunatics. 

Renjun intertwines his fingers with Jaemin’s and kisses the back of his hand, mumbling slurred words out of gratefulness. 

“Ah, it’s been a long day.” Renjun says sleepily, drowsiness taking over his body. Jaemin chuckles for the last time before pecking his boyfriend on the lips. He heaves a content sigh, his eyelids too heavy on his eyes. He gives in to the temptation and closes them, his body feeling contented for the rest he’s about to take. Before his slumber could go deeper, he feels Renjun struggling to get out of his embrace. “What are you doing?” Asks Jaemin, his grip on Renjun’s waist loosening for whatever reason. 

“Can you just move lower, please?” Renjun doesn’t see it clearly but he just knows — _he feels it in his bones_ — that Jaemin’s smirking, “Not that, you ass.” Nevertheless, Jaemin wordlessly complies, his face facing Renjun’s chest. He feels his limbs get tangled with Renjun’s, though, one of his legs is thrown over Jaemin’s waistline. His hand stays unbothered on Renjun’s waist as he feels his hair being played with. “I think I’ve said this way too many times but you really have soft hair.” Renjun kisses the top of his head, breathing in the scent of coconut (the shampoo he bought with Jaemin the other day). 

They stay like that for the rest of the night - Jaemin resting in the crook of Renjun’s neck, Renjun, in return, playing with his hair and kissing it from time to time. It’s exactly at 4 a.m that Renjun opens his eyes, sleep tugging at the corners, and tries to calm his erratically beating heart. _Thump, thump, thump._

“Fuck,” he whispers, facepalming on the forehead _quite loudly_ , “the fucking essay!” 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> don't forget to take care of yourself and the people around you!!!
> 
> (as for the envelope part, i'll leave that up to your imagination!!!)
> 
> the 191012 [jaemin](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9a/47/3e/9a473e93f82ab0a3ad007c6909a322ba.png) we all need (+ [THE](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e6/ad/df/e6addf9ca0709896ea45cc70b8980eaa.jpg) silver cross necklace)


End file.
